Go Love Yourself: Exxxotica!

Let's talk about the annual tradition of me going to my favorite sex convention.

Oct 30, 2024

As is tradition, it’s time to talk about why I love Exxxotica — as both a content creator and a spectator. For those not in the know, Exxxotica is one of the largest conventions dedicated to love, sexuality, and adult content.

Considering how much I write about the porn industry, I like to think of myself as an adult content creator of sorts. Or, at the very least, I like to think I’m involved. This will become increasingly true once I start rolling out my pinup modeling and art modeling swag, but I digress.

It’s become a tradition for me to cover Exxxotica, interview porn stars, and give updates on the state of the edgy content creation industry. But honestly? Every time I go to Exxxotica, I end up learning something new about myself.

Exxxotica is a body positivity heaven, and that’s something we all need from time to time.

I’ll let people in on a very open secret: I’m extremely insecure about my looks. I don’t feel attractive 99 percent of the time. And, to make it worse, my boyfriend stood me up on Exxxotica’s Friday show — effectively gutting my already-shaky self-esteem.

I’ll be honest. Few things make me feel as shitty as having someone not show up. It makes me feel like they’re ashamed to be seen with me. And when it’s my boyfriend? Oof. At a sex convention? Double oof.

I drowned my sorrows Friday, took time to collect myself, and then went Saturday solo. (Husband wasn’t feeling good, so he took the day to go and scream at my now-ex.)

I always try to go with a partner of mine. This was the first time that I went solo in a long while. And that’s when the magic happened…

There’s something so empowering about going to a convention where people of all sizes and ages are seen as beautiful.

You know, our mainstream media does a great job of trying to look more body-positive than it once did. However, it’s not really inclusive. It feels fake at times, perhaps even forced.

Plus-sized women are still generally treated as unattractive there. Oh, and if you have a wrinkle? Might as well be Ol’ Yeller to the casting directors of movies and Netflix. And even if you’re usually confident, it’s hard to really feel like there’s someone who finds you sexy.

Enter Exxxotica: the convention where you will see mainstream sexy performers, BBWs, men, trans people, super-thin, and people of all ages just looking their best. More importantly? You get to see people actually chatting them up.

This is the convention you go to when you want to test your boundaries and actually try to feel empowered in your body.

I decided to take a friend’s advice and go the extra mile.

I usually cover up at these conventions, but this time, I actually went so far as to buy pasties and go shirtless. Why? Because sometimes it takes actually pushing your own limits to get over yourself.

Hint: it worked.

There’s something oddly liberating about being unusually naked in a room of people who are wearing as little clothing (or slightly more) than you are. You start realizing that no one really sees your flaws as boldly as you do.

I was in a massive convention room with a bunch of people who also were running around with only pasties to cover their bits. And you know what? It felt natural and normal. I was just part of the crowd — and that’s liberating.

It’s the same thing that I assume happens at nudist camps: you start realizing that bodies are just bodies at the end of the day. Everyone has one and clearly, everyone has a type.

I can’t go to nude beaches because I’m sun-sensitive. However, Exxxotica was pretty damn close to that experience and it was a safe environment to be able to practice that.

Security was awesome this year and made sure everything was as safe as could be. So, if you’re looking for a safe environment to push that limit, go to Exxxotica. It got me over my fear, so it’ll get you over yours too.

But, I didn’t just decide to go shirtless and braless this time around either; I did research.

Let me tell you something: if you want to get body positivity advice from the pros, Exxxotica is the place to be. But, it’s also a good place to go if you wanna see how things work in the world of porn right now.

I started to poke around to see some of the newest trends in adult films and content creation. One thing I found to be kind of shocking is the number of traditional porn stars who switched to OnlyFans and OnlyFans-like platforms instead.

I kept hearing the same things, over and over again:

“It just works better with my schedule.”
“I hate traveling too much.”
“I make more this way.”

I was pretty shocked because not too long ago, I talked about how OnlyFans is experiencing a decline in signups and users. As it turns out, it’s a matter of having (or creating) a following that already buys content.

If you have fans from porn sites, then yes, they would be more likely to buy your content on OF. It seems obvious, but online platforms definitely still have a market with established stars.

There’s a massive divide between the haves and have-nots in the industry. I took time to ask performers what makes the difference, and it also surprised me. So, I’m going to be doing a little research on that in an upcoming article.

But let’s get to other cool stuff that happened…

If nothing else, Exxxotica is one of those conventions that always has a certain aura of splendid chaos. You never know what you will find. This year included the following experiences:

Meeting a 22-year-old who never tasted a pickle. We took them to the pickle stand so they could try one. This was just so random that
Really delicious pickles. Look man, they were really delicious.
Amazing porn star, fetish personality, and adult entertainer friends. Shoutout to Brittany Andrews, Nyssa Nevers, Eva Nova, BJ McNaughty, Showntell, Reeses Pieces, Casey Carter, and Rex Whamming! Love you guys!
Fascinating facts about camming at both the MFC and Loyalfans booths. I love actually talking shop with the exhibitors here, simply because they always teach me something new.
Awesome panels. If you want to learn more about sexuality, partnering, BDSM, or adult films, they’re highly recommended. They always get the best experts.
Meeting Santa. Yes, there’s a porn Santa. I asked for a new sex partner, because, come on now, it’s porn Santa.
Some of the most impressive exotic dances I’ve ever seen. There were fire shows, a sparking belt, pole dancers, and more. Also, I’m pretty sure that at least one of the dancers defied the laws of physics with their moves.

Overall, it was a great time. Can’t wait till next year!

Ossiana Tepfenhart

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