Low-Key Signs That You Dealt With Narcissistic Abuse As A Kid
There’s often a tell.
In certain scenes I’ve been in, it’s almost a given that you have (or had, in my case) serious issues with your family. Most of the people in these crowds were runaways. Those who were able to get out and make a living were low-to-no contact.
If I had to guess, I’d say that around half of the people in these crowds had a narcissistic parent. How did I know? After drinks, they’d always open up about it. Or, they’d flat-out tell me.
Over time, I started to notice something interesting about the kids of narcissistic parents. They often had very similar traits. These are the things that usually tip me off to a childhood spent around a narcissist.
Perfectionism
Narcissistic parents tend to view their children as extensions of themselves. Since narcissists demand that everyone sees them as perfect, that often means that their children have to be “perfect” too.
I’ve seen a lot of young adults have meltdowns over bad grades in college. I’ve also seen these same young adults struggle with eating disorders while also doing their best to be the popular “in” kid at school.
Growing up, these people were taught that it’s not safe to make mistakes. Mistakes make bad things happen. If they are caught making a mistake, they often do anything in their power to hide it.
Even when they go no-contact, kids of narcissistic parents often end up having a perfectionistic streak. It’s not uncommon for them to have mini panic attacks over a bad review.
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