The Dark Side Of Success Addiction
When winning comes at the cost of everything else, it’s time to call it an addiction.
I used to work underneath an addict. His name was Rupert*. Rupert was the head of a publicly-traded company. A veteran of 80s Wall Street, Rupert was equal parts magnificent bastard, blowhard, and American Psycho-level sociopath.
He was once described as “the man with an axe who gleefully pondered who he would fire next.” Rupert is one of the few people I can honestly say changed me and actually taught me things about work.
But, at the same time, working for him was one of the most toxic experiences in my life. You see, Rupert and I had something in common when we first met: we were both junkies.
I was the type of junkie that would not ask what a pill was before taking it. I just didn’t care. If it got me high, I’d do it. Rupert, on the other hand, had a different addiction — one that is equally lethal, but far, far harder to pinpoint.
Rupert was a junkie for success.
A success junkie? You might think it’s a good thing at first. Who doesn’t like seeing their life filled with success? Success, particularly at work, can make your life easier. Why wouldn’t you want more of it?
Well, it’s simple. Anything you get addicted to will become problematic. When it comes to success addiction, your need to succeed (and also be seen as successful) takes priority over everything: your friends, your family, and even your sanity.
His success was how he measured his worth. That included us. Failure was not an option if you wanted to stay there. Mediocrity was not an option either. You had to really, really push to stay employed by Rupert. Work came before anything else.
Most people praise being a success junkie — especially in tough industries. But should they?
He’s one of many to fall into the trap of success addiction.
I don’t know what happened to Rupert in his youth, but I do know that he’s addicted to success. He would regale us with stories of how he’d start business after business as a teen. He was worth millions. He was all about success.
I can’t help but notice how often our society tends to equate success with happiness. How often do you notice parents (or teachers) telling you that you have to “be successful” to be happy? How often are we valued by our paychecks?
We often equate success with being special, worthy, or confident. In reality, everyone will have moments where their success no longer can match up to others. This type of talk sets people up for failure, unattainable standards, and success addiction.
While well-meaning, the truth is that if you’re defined by how much you earn, bad things happen. Most important, you start believing that all those trophies will lead to happiness — and the success you attain is never enough.
Much like success addict billionaires who want more and more and more profit, a typical success addict is never satisfied. They need more of whatever they feel makes them a success.
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