Yes, I'm Dropping Substack...For Now
I need to take a break. And I need someone to believe in me enough to help me without me paying money I don't have.
Hey everyone…
Yes, I decided to jump the gun and drop Substack. I can’t do this anymore and stay stuck. I’ve had to declare bankruptcy this past year. I had to move out of my home. I lost a lot.
For a while, I was really hoping for some great comeback. I was hoping that if I worked harder (which I did) on Substack and promo, I’d see results. I haven’t. And honestly, I don’t believe in myself anymore.
At least not here.
I’ve been battling extreme depression lately—like, I can’t get out of bed and stopped eating depression. As in, I was hospitalized for trying to yeet myself off the George Washington Bridge in May.
I’ve lost about 25 pounds since February and can now fit into a size 12 in H&M, though it’s pretty tight. I’d be elated if it was not a result of my mental illness and my need for kava to just stay relatively sane.
Unfortunately, it’s been harder to try to post uplifting stuff or even thought-provoking stuff right now—even as a repost. For now, I’m hanging up my Substack thing until I see something change or until I heal.
Honestly, I would not be as depressed if I had a job. I am so depressed I can’t even bother applying to gigs on Upwork on my own. It’s a Catch-22 and I don’t know what else to do. All I know is that being on here, at least in its current incarnation, hurts too much.
To my paying fans, I’m sorry I let you down. I’ll try to post occasionally here, but I’ll be honest, my heart is not in it the way it was. I’m sorry. You can now follow me on MSN.com.
Hang in there Ossiana. For every dark night there will be a sunny day ahead. Bad times never last forever as everything occurs in cycles. Hope your trials end soon. Get well! Your loyal readers are still here awaiting your recovery.
I’m so sorry to hear this and rest assured, it’s okay. You’re human, you’ve worked really hard at your writing for a very long time and it’s okay to either step back and take a break or quit altogether. Your mental health comes first, everything else is secondary and I’ll gladly debate anyone who says otherwise. I’ve had to take breaks, sometimes extended, myself at times. At one point, health problems drove me to the point where I had to pause payments on my Substack, but eventually, I made my way back to it. There’s always tomorrow if you can manage to get through today.