“But Hey, I Got Pussy.”
Deidre has every right to be pissed.
Deidre* is a jaw-droppingly beautiful woman.
I want to point this out because it’s been one of the worst things to happen to her dating life. She’s the type of woman who literally stops traffic when she walks down the street.
She’s about 30, and she gets offers for modeling jobs — both adult and otherwise. Deidre is the woman who inspires envy in other women, often with insecurity in this mix. And with men? Well, it gets bad.
Deidre is single. Woefully single. All she wants is a man who likes her for her — not her looks, not sex with her, not the status of being with a model. And she’s been through it, if you get what I mean.
Like many of my female friends, Deidre keeps ending up with men who use her for sex.
It’s not Deidre’s fault. She screens them. She immediately blocks men who just want a hookup from the bat. She waits for three dates before she does anything with them — and most don’t even make it to all of those three dates.
She does everything and anything to try to avoid guys who just “pump n’ dump.” She makes sure they pay for everything. She talks about her desire for marriage and children. She avoids online dating apps because she’s been assaulted before.
About four months ago, she met a guy who called himself Manuel*. Manuel ran into her at a party filled with other people who were in her crowd. They immediately clicked. They started dating slowly — a coffee here, a quick kiss there.
Then they had sex. Deidre kept talking about how passionate he was. She was elated. Our mutual friend Callie* didn’t feel good about him. Something felt off to her. She reverse Googled his image and boom.
His name wasn’t Manuel. It was Alfonso*. He was also married with two kids. Deidre freaked out, confronted him, and he didn’t deny it. He admitted he lied with a smile on his face.
He then said, “I know it was kinda fucked up, but hey, I got pussy.”
She slammed the phone, started screaming in her apartment, told Alfonso’s wife, and called her girls (and me) up to commiserate. I wish I could say that this was a rare occurrence, but it’s not.
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