Korea's Shocking Incel Problem Is So Much Worse Than You Think
No, for real, this is terrifying.
Korea is a country that has become famous for churning out absolutely stunning pop star heartthrobs. In fact, it’s become a country that’s famous for having people who seem impossibly beautiful altogether.
Korea currently happens to be the plastic surgery capital of the world. In this country, it’s not unusual for parents to gift their daughters a trip to the surgeon’s as a graduation present.
Among men, looking good is just as important since photos are required for most job applications. Besides, when you have bands that have basically mastered the art of getting women hot under the color (looking at you BTS), looks often seem to be the bare minimum.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that Korea has an entire economy around looking attractive. That’s why it’s so shocking for foreigners to find out how dire the dating situation is there.
In recent months, the 4B Movement gained a lot of attention on a global level.
The 4B Movement is an online feminist movement that originated in Korea as a rebellion against the foul treatment Korean women experience at the hands of men. This movement has four main rules per Wikipedia:
“no sex with men (Korean: 비섹스; Hanja: 非sex; RR: bisekseu),
no giving birth (비출산; 非出産; bichulsan),
no dating men (비연애; 非戀愛; biyeonae), and
no marriage with men (비혼; 非婚; bihon)”
Some women also include other rules, such as rejecting makeup and rejecting Korean beauty standards as part of their rebellion. Though the movement started small in the late 2010s, it’s become a global movement.
For many Westerners who dream of Jungkook, 4B seems like an extreme move until…
For a country that has an entire economy around making hottie heartthrobs croon their way into the hearts of millions, it’s shocking to find out what a grim reality Korean women face at home.
Korean culture has always placed an unusually large burden on women to be homemakers, mothers, and the caretakers of both their in-laws and their own families. However, it wasn’t the traditional workload that made Korean women revolt against dating.
It was the abuse.
Wikipedia paints a fairly light painting of domestic violence statistics, claiming the following:
“From a 2022 survey conducted by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family random sample (5,622 people) in South Korea about incidents of intimate partner violence, a total 9.4% of females respondents experienced domestic violence. Conversely, a total 5.8% of males respondents reported domestic violence as victims.”
These DV rates sound low until you realize that this isn’t the entire picture.
Numbers aren’t always good at painting the true picture of a situation, especially if it’s a small study. The facts below show the true level of danger women face in the dating world:
A separate study showed that 1 in every 3 Korean women experienced domestic violence. 46 percent of all violence toward women in Korea is perpetrated by a partner.
Korean women are encouraged to plan “safe breakups” out of fear for their physical safety when they leave their partners. It has gotten to the point that it’s gained government attention.
Yet another study suggests that over 55 percent of people have experienced domestic violence in Korea. The vast majority of these cases do not go reported because the government does not take crimes against women seriously.
Over 40 percent of foreign brides who marry Korean men experience abuse. 80 percent of those 40 percent experience verbal abuse, while healthcare abuse and physical abuse are the second and third most common, respectively.
98 percent of homicide victims in Korea are women. This makes for one of the highest homicide rates in the world.
Like with most other patriarchy-heavy countries, rape is seen as the fault of the woman. It’s common knowledge that the Korean government often will cover up rapes or simply refuse to prosecute them. This is why around 90 percent of rapes and sexual assaults remain unreported in the country.
The rise of anti-feminism gripped Korea by the balls…the blue balls, that is.
Most of the assaults and domestic violence women experienced were at the hands of their partners—up until recently. In the past ten years or so, Korea began to experience a massive, sweeping anti-feminist movement among men.
This is particularly common among single men.
The rage that these men discuss is not unlike what Americans have heard from misogynists, Red Pill men, and incels. As women made gains in equality in the workplace and gained more autonomy, many Korean men have crumpled.
They are angry that they haven’t gotten their “needs” met from women, often felt pushed to the sidelines while women gain favor, and feel like they were cheated out of a wife.
A 2019 survey revealed that 79 percent of Korean men believe they were victims of reverse discrimination. This is, of course, despite living in a country with an absolutely massive gender pay gap.
This led to a massive movement of men who, plain and simply, resent women for not being slaves. And it’s been getting ugly.
Korea’s incels have launched disturbing crimes against women in recent years.
College students, teens, and young unemployed men made Korean headlines after they were caught doing deepfake porn of women. The scandal has led Korean officials to demand a crackdown on internet sex crimes after hundreds of women were victimized.
In the past couple of weeks, translated texts from anti-feminist Koreans started to leak into Western internet forums. The harassment and hate is disturbing, to say the least.
Oh, it gets worse.
You didn’t think this was a solo thing, right?
However, it’s not just an online thing. There are videos leaking of women protecting young children from men in Korea as well as entire blog posts related to the danger women feel on the subways.
The Korean subways have become famous for men defiantly sitting in the “pink seats,” assigned seating for pregnant women. It’s gotten to the point that they refer to them as sluts because they are pregnant.
If this wasn’t bad enough, the number of physical assaults and homicides directed toward women almost doubled in the past five years. Despite the increased reports, the number of people who actually do time remained almost the same.
All things considered, it’s easy to see why #4B took over Korea the way it did. This shit’s wild.
The Korean men who are feminists are also quiet victims in this society.
There’s a certain creeping horror you feel when you realize that your government doesn’t see you as a person. I’ve experienced it in America. I’m sure that women in Korea have experienced it as well.
But, there’s another group of people who are being victimized by the government-backed misogyny and incel movements that people often overlook. Men who genuinely like women and support women are being hurt, too.
A friend of mine and former boss,
, currently lives in Korea as a feminist poly relationship advocate. And let me tell you—he’s just as pissed at the incel movement as Korea’s women are.During one of our late-night chats, he pointed out something so true.
He said, “These guys, they infuriate me. It’s not just the hate. It’s the fact that their hate hurts them so much more than any woman ever could have. They don’t see that the patriarchy hurts them too.”
For the record, Michael is in a poly relationship and women who are easily twice as hot as I am squabble over him. Like, I’ve never seen a man who could entrance women the way he does.
As a AFAB person, I can’t help but feel fear for the women of Korea—and the women here.
It’s truly terrifying to see what Korean women are dealing with right now. It’s also remarkably telling that the #4B Movement has become a global reaction to the rollback of women’s rights everywhere.
Yes, #4B started in Korea because it’s direly needed there. However, its spread to America, most of Europe, and even parts of the Middle East is just as telling. It is saddening how so many men and governments reacted to women’s rights.
And I’m sorry, but you can’t tell me that the men who push anti-feminist policies like women. They may like to sleep with women but in terms of actually loving women? No. There’s no love there—only hate. Women are not stupid. They are aware of that and that’s why they avoid bitter, rage-filled incels.
Considering how many anti-feminists there are out there, I don’t understand why men are shocked that women are turning their backs on dating. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to risk being killed just because I wanted a happy marriage and chose someone who hid his violent streak until we were private.
What’s wild is that none of this needs to happen. If men were to just let women have equal rights and treat them like people, women would be totally fine with dating men. The idea of staying celibate as a feminist move would be laughable because men would not make themselves the enemy of women.
In a lot of ways, the root of Korea’s incel problem mirrors America’s while taking it to a new level.
Korea’s unique situation is one where women are starting to outdo men in the boardroom—much like what’s going on here. And when a lot of men realized they had to compete with other women for those roles, they just seemed to crumple.
Many of the men who identify as incels in both countries are unemployed or low-wage earners. They also tend not to be good-looking—a major blow to their confidence. In America, women are outpacing men in the workforce in record numbers.
Men, on the other hand, are crumbling. They are giving up on their careers, refusing to work because they just can’t figure out why they should. They are resentful because they need to pay for dates—as if that’s their biggest worry.
A lot of people noticed that the men who are faring the worst in today’s economy seem to be the ones who are most radicalized. They also tend to be the ones who are most insecure about a man’s role in society.
Guys, what’s going on? Why don’t you care about your careers? You livelihoods? Why don’t you actually try to better your life rather than just sit there and rot? I’ve noticed that a lot of men don’t seem to care about their lives if they don’t feel they have a chance at dating.
This level of incel rage is not healthy. At all.
Neither is the way our governments are handling it. Both America and Korea seem to be trying to brush it under the rug—or worse, coddle the men who refuse to help themselves. This is a great way to worsen the situation and teach the worst lessons possible to young people.
While humanity is a social species, no one is owed the servitude, companionship, or sex from another human being. Community is what used to make our lives whole and fulfilling. Friendship and family both matter—and they are worth investing in, too.
These men don’t need women to fix their problems. They need men to help them realize that life doesn’t revolve around sex and women. They need a community that encourages them to chase their dreams, not a community that encourages them to blame the innocent.
Korea’s men need to lead in the fight against incels, not women.
I knew America’s incel problem was bad, but I had no idea how much more extreme it was in Korea. Korean women deal with so much more than women do stateside, and it’s mind-boggling that women haven’t decided to stop working, stop dating, and stop partaking in society entirely.
I wish I could say I have the answers to the growing incel issue. I wish that K-pop idols would openly discuss how misogyny is hurting their home country. I wish that I could figure out a way to deradicalize the men who seem to be foaming at the mouth with fury.
But, I can’t. Sadly, if anyone is going to be the one to quash the victimization and targeting of women, it’s going to have to be a man. Or rather, a group of men who genuinely love women. After all, a misogynist will never listen to a woman.
Gentlemen, Korea’s women need you to protect them and set them free. All you have to do is speak out against the hatred gripping your country. I just hope you’ll start getting vocal about it before it’s too late for Korea’s female population.
This reminds me of a remark I made to my partner after seeing yet another woman hating meme, “Dear Reddit, Help! My sex doll is talking again! How do I make it stop? Advice needed”
He snorted coffee out his nose.
Anyway, point being, they can’t love women because they don’t see women as people but rather inconvenient objects (inconvenient because they think, feel, and talk, and not just produce sexy time)
I put the nice coins in, why didn’t the sex fall out.
I have tons of these
Commenting soi can find this tomorrow