Let’s Talk About Neo-Foraging During The Hunger Crisis

What’s old is new once more.

Photo by Brienne Hong on Unsplash

So by now, we’ve noticed that the rich are waging active war on the poor. Millions of people are going to go hungry or even die as a result of the rollbacks on vital care subsidies that were propping up America.

It’s not just the GOP’s fault. Democrats who rolled over for the Trumpian bullies also are at fault. I mean, they literally rolled over to get absolutely nothing and Schumer is sitting there whining about how it’s not really his fault.

The truth is that SNAP subsidies are likely going to go the way of the dodo sooner rather than later, most likely permanently. So, you might be wondering what people can do to make it work.

Believe it or not, my crust punk, chef, and gutterpunk friends might have the answer.

In life, I’ve met several people whose diets consisted of whatever they could find in dumpsters throughout New York City. I’ve also met people who were masterful at going into the woods or parks nearby to forage what they could.

And you know what? They ate surprisingly well from time to time. They’ve made a bit of an art out of it. I call it “neo-foraging,” and it’s the art of finding food when food pantries fail you.

Here’s how neo-foraging can work for you.

If you’re really down and out, there are several ways that you can find food for yourself. Here are my tips.

(Disclaimer: understand that eating food that was thrown out is never a good idea. Choose clean food that you feel safe eating that has never touched the inside of a garbage can, ideally food that isn’t officially expired.)

First, learn about the toss-out habits of grocery stores and retail stores.

My friends would often find out which restaurants tossed out their leftover food from large-scale batch cooking at night. They either would ask others on the street which dumpsters were good to pull food from or observe when people took out their trash.

Or, if they were more open about it, they would go so far as to ask people who worked in the restaurant. This tended to be the best result because it meant that they’d often just get free leftovers without it ever having been in the garbage can.

From there, they would rummage around the dump to find the food that seemed mostly unscathed by the toss. Ideally the food will still be sealed in its original wrapping and reasonably fresh and uneaten.

For example, one person found an entire trash bag of nothing but bread that was baked that day from a bakery. The bakery couldn’t keep it overnight, so it ended up dumped. They grabbed the bag, froze some bread, and ate the rest. Boom. Meal.

One time, my friends and I dumpster-dived a GNC near my apartment. We found that the GNC dumped out a ton of meal replacement shake powders. They weren’t fully expired, per se. They expired that day. So we grabbed them and ate those for about six days after.

Consider working in a kitchen.

Traditional foraging meant going out into the wild and coming back with food. Most of us don’t live out in the wild, but that doesn’t mean we can’t expand the search for food in our environments. Sometimes, it’s a matter of double-tasking.

More than one of my friends have worked in restaurant kitchens and bars for the sole perk of being able to take home some of the food or eat some of the food on the off break.

My advice is to talk to staff members about the situation beforehand. Fast food joints tend to fire people for taking food home, so it’s best to work with smaller, non-chain restaurants.

Pick up a foraging book or take a class.

So, there’s a little secret about cities and suburbs that most people don’t want to tell you: there’s actually a lot of plant life that can be considered to be edible. This is true, even in areas where you wouldn’t expect it to be.

For example, most areas have acorn trees. Acorn meal is edible, though it can be fairly bitter. The same can be said of dandelions and marigolds, as well as certain local wildflowers.

I once went to a park near Kearny that had a real cherry tree. I was able to pick a cherry right off the tree and eat it, no problem. It was juicy too. I’ve also eaten thimbleberries right off the bush and even helped myself to some mulberries off a tree.

It’s important to check out your local parks and library services to see if they have foraging classes. After all, eating the wrong berry or mushroom can kill you.

With that said, it’s quite possible to go to certain parks and pick up a lot of nutritious plants. Just make sure you leave enough to help keep the stock going for others.

Or, go hunting and fishing.

So, full disclosure, I’ve never really done this while in Jersey. Me and nature don’t mix. It’s not natural for me and frankly, nature poses an imminent risk of death for someone with my allergy.

But, I have a (surprisingly clean-cut) friend named Terri who was always doing this — even as a young girl. She and her dad would go out crabbing at a nearby inlet and she’d find the juiciest crabs.

All she ever needed was a crabbing license (that’s like $25 or so in Jersey), a crab trap, and a bucket of fried chicken. Next thing you knew, she and her folks would be eating better than an all-you-can-eat Red Lobster festival.

No cap, I was jealous.

Oddly enough, Terri was also the girl who taught me how to forage and how to do amazing things with squash, corn, and tomatoes. I think she also goes hunting, but I’ve always chickened out when it came to shooting animals.

If you’re daring, you might wanna try the “Hillbilly Deluxe.”

One of my friends is a little more daring than others, and while I don’t condone this, it seems to work for her. My friend Jenna* started living in Virginia close to North Carolina, where she picked up a rather scary habit.

She’d look for fresh roadkill. Then, she’d cook it and eat it. She called it the “Hillbilly Deluxe” and had a tendency of feeding it to guests when she ran out of food.

Obviously, this comes with a LOT of risks. Botulism and parasites can kill you. Cooking can only get rid of so many at times, so I don’t condone this. However, Jenna is far from the only one to do this that I know of.

If the meat’s good, the meat’s good. When you’re really down and out, you can’t always be that picky.

Food is going to get scarcer now.

There’s no but’s about it. With SNAP going the way of the dodo, everyone is going to have to get a little crafty when it comes to the food they eat. Some may have to get a bit more tricky about it than others, especially those who live in urban environments and those who are a bit more suburban.

I know a couple of my readers are food-insecure. So I made this guide for them to follow in the event that food pantries fail and fellow neighbors, churches, and family members don’t help them out.

In an ideal world, we’d all have gardens to tend to so that we can all get (at the very least) some vegetables and fruits. But it’s not that easy these days. Landlords and city codes suck.

The best thing to do is know what your options are and learn skills that make it easy to adapt to the harsh world we live in these days. And if that upsets you? Thank a Republican.

Beep from Exxxotica.