This Is The Nightclub Rule That Everyone Should Live By (If They Want To Be Popular)
Or, how my friend urinating on the side of a bank taught me something important about people.
Storytime! Let’s flash back to many winters ago, out on the streets of Brooklyn. My friend Marcelo* had just gotten kicked out of the club for what may have been the 80th time this year. This time, the bouncers were having a hard time with him.
You see, Marcelo got kicked out of clubs a lot. But, it’s never for fighting. No. He’s a lovable agent of chaos. Don’t get what I mean? Well, let me give you some examples:
He’s been booted for doing so much ketamine that he faceplanted on the dance floor. The bouncers had to carry him out like a board while he was still grinning and stiff.
He’s been booted for hooking up with one of the go-go dancers in a bathroom and smuggling a bag of (I kid you not) popcorn from the local movie theater to the club.
He’s been booted for hooking up with someone who was there with her boyfriend, which got the boyfriend irate. To his credit, she said she was single and I heard that myself.
He’s been booted for doing ketamine, dropping a bag of it on the floor, and having a slurred-squawk-argument with another ketamine user over who should pick it up. (The bouncer looked at him, said, “REALLY? AGAIN?” and ejected them both. My other friend then got the ground score.)
As a fellow clubkid who also trainwrecks a lot, it’s a thing where I totally get it. I have been kicked out of clubs for getting too wasted, having my disorder hit me, and also for getting into fights.
Most times that me or my friends get booted, it’s not a teaching point. It’s just us blowing off steam in a way that is not socially acceptable and us being a liability. But this time, it was a teaching point.