Fantastic article. We used to say, "pack your bags kids, we're going on a guilt trip!" When I broke away from my dad, it was as if I received constant BS pressure from strangers to fix the relationship who know absolutely nothing about it. You almost never received any hint of an understanding that you were doing what you needed to do to survive. I'm glad that's changing. Very, very good work here!
Thank you for this post!!! I'm 55 yo and after many emotional dumpster fires within my fundie christian bio family (I'm LGBTQ and as a female I wanted to go to college instead of marrying the man they'd picked for me) in the early 90's I got a Victims Protection Order against both of my bio parents and have been strictly no contact with them ever since! The protection order was the best thing I did (besides therapy) for myself!! The protection order was easily attained in court even back in the early 90's within a religious town/district where my bio parents religious views were the norm. That's how bad their abuse was.
I have gone on to live a happy successful life with a life-partner of almost 30 years and many supportive friends and chosen family! The best revenge is to leave the abusers and go on and live well!
While I was school age, thankfully the option to homeschool did NOT exist and I was able to get away from my biologicals by reminding them of the then existing truancy laws. I wish homeschooling or private religious schools were under much more scrutiny today.
All of what you refer to in your newsletter is absolutely true - I've experienced it - including the fact that people have slowly been realizing that religious people aren't always the saints they claim to be and are often using god as a co-conspirator, scapegoat or cudgel.
Nowadays people are much more likely to accept -rather than argue- when I say I don't have contact with biological family and most people even accept when I say I'm not religious. When someone refuses to accept my stated reality that is a red flag for me and I am very wary of that person.
Thank you for writing this! Did my heart such good to read it!! And btw I am no longer living in that very red fundie religious state either! If possible leave abusive states and vote out government systems too!!
I appreciate this a great deal. But the truth is that narcissists--not to mention those with personality disorders and other "low level" pathologies--create more narcissists. And breaking free of that loop is challenging. Never mind the fury I feel towards the most wealthy, stingy, and self-absorbed generation in history. Right now, I can't help but feel some fear as I contemplate what will follow them....
45 here and my grandmother’s last words to me were that I was a disappointment because of the way I treated my mom. Which is to say that I stopped having contact with my mom because of the way she treated me. Stick to your boundaries out there people. You’ll thank yourself for it down the road.
One of your best. And I can't help but hope you're right about a change on the horizon. I clapped for Walter Rhein's comment, but I'd like to add my 'second' on that one here.
Narcissus, the namesake of the disorder, spent most of his life pining for attention from someone who couldn't give it to him (his reflection). Those with the disorder are finding now it can also apply to them.
Great article. I think it's not just kids raised by fundies. How many kids whose parents exploited them for their family YouTube/insta/tiktok/whatever are going to be cutting the parents off as soon as they can? It already seems like there's a bit of a reckoning happening regarding the family social media channels.
Fantastic article. We used to say, "pack your bags kids, we're going on a guilt trip!" When I broke away from my dad, it was as if I received constant BS pressure from strangers to fix the relationship who know absolutely nothing about it. You almost never received any hint of an understanding that you were doing what you needed to do to survive. I'm glad that's changing. Very, very good work here!
Thank you for this post!!! I'm 55 yo and after many emotional dumpster fires within my fundie christian bio family (I'm LGBTQ and as a female I wanted to go to college instead of marrying the man they'd picked for me) in the early 90's I got a Victims Protection Order against both of my bio parents and have been strictly no contact with them ever since! The protection order was the best thing I did (besides therapy) for myself!! The protection order was easily attained in court even back in the early 90's within a religious town/district where my bio parents religious views were the norm. That's how bad their abuse was.
I have gone on to live a happy successful life with a life-partner of almost 30 years and many supportive friends and chosen family! The best revenge is to leave the abusers and go on and live well!
While I was school age, thankfully the option to homeschool did NOT exist and I was able to get away from my biologicals by reminding them of the then existing truancy laws. I wish homeschooling or private religious schools were under much more scrutiny today.
All of what you refer to in your newsletter is absolutely true - I've experienced it - including the fact that people have slowly been realizing that religious people aren't always the saints they claim to be and are often using god as a co-conspirator, scapegoat or cudgel.
Nowadays people are much more likely to accept -rather than argue- when I say I don't have contact with biological family and most people even accept when I say I'm not religious. When someone refuses to accept my stated reality that is a red flag for me and I am very wary of that person.
Thank you for writing this! Did my heart such good to read it!! And btw I am no longer living in that very red fundie religious state either! If possible leave abusive states and vote out government systems too!!
I appreciate this a great deal. But the truth is that narcissists--not to mention those with personality disorders and other "low level" pathologies--create more narcissists. And breaking free of that loop is challenging. Never mind the fury I feel towards the most wealthy, stingy, and self-absorbed generation in history. Right now, I can't help but feel some fear as I contemplate what will follow them....
45 here and my grandmother’s last words to me were that I was a disappointment because of the way I treated my mom. Which is to say that I stopped having contact with my mom because of the way she treated me. Stick to your boundaries out there people. You’ll thank yourself for it down the road.
One of your best. And I can't help but hope you're right about a change on the horizon. I clapped for Walter Rhein's comment, but I'd like to add my 'second' on that one here.
Narcissus, the namesake of the disorder, spent most of his life pining for attention from someone who couldn't give it to him (his reflection). Those with the disorder are finding now it can also apply to them.
Great article. I think it's not just kids raised by fundies. How many kids whose parents exploited them for their family YouTube/insta/tiktok/whatever are going to be cutting the parents off as soon as they can? It already seems like there's a bit of a reckoning happening regarding the family social media channels.